Break Down

A few weeks ago, I had a break down.  I should have seen it coming. I am good at knowing the signs and warning the husband, but I missed them.  So at 4 in the morning, I found the tears starting.  I thought I could push them away, but I couldn’t.  My husband woke to a mess.  He quietly waited for me the crying to pass and then I told him how sad I was that I wouldn’t be able to buy things for Willow.  I would never buy her Easter dresses or get a room ready for her.  I would never get to have Mommy/daughter outings.  It’s not to say that I am not thrilled to be having a healthy happy boy, but I was just sad to miss out on all of these things too.  I want all my kids here, to watch them all grow up. Some times life just sucks and that Sunday morning I was feeling it.