One of my students had an obsession with superheroes for a while this spring. He had given each one a number up to 15. I tried to get him to say #16 Ms. Scott for a long time. His parents spent one weekend drilling him on it and I finally achieved super hero status!
These days I wish I could be a super hero. I wish I could make our world right and the pain go away. I wish I could be as strong as a super hero is ALL the time. I try to be strong,. I can smile, I can laugh and I can go on with my day. There are moments though that I am week and the pain and sadness catch me off guard. These days tears seem to come easily and at the strangest most unexpected moments. Like last weekend when I listened to Steve wake C up. It was sad for me to realize that Willow will never be woken up by him singing to her. These times are hard.
As hard as this is to say, I am glad to know our outcome. We have started the grieving process now and can plan for the days ahead. I have been reading blogs by woman who have lost their children. Most of whom the loss was unexpected. I can’t imagine how that would feel. This is hard enough.
I have two more weeks and then head back to work, I will be wearing my super hero cape then. I don’t know to tell an entire staff about our daughter and I really don’t want to have them look at me with pity and sadness. That is the worst. I must say, that I am fortunate enough to work with the most supportive staff. I just want the first week to go by fast and then I can hide in my cave of a classroom with my kiddos.
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