Our Final Goodbye

Friday night when were moved into our new room, my nurse Sue told me that her friend and fellow nurse Karen was going to dress her and take some pictures for us.  She asked if we would like to have her back again.  I told that we wanted to see her again.  Sue told me that her shift ended at 7 and asked if she could bring her in around 6 a.m.  I told her that sounded perfect. 

Sue came in each hour to check my vitals and every 4 hours to draw blood.  At 5 in the morning she told me she would be back with Willow at 6 and then would take her downstairs  when she left at 7.  She also told me that Willow looked beautiful all dressed up.  It’s what every mother wants to hear.

Sue came in a little after 6.  She carried this little Moses basket and inside was Willow.  They had her wrapped in this beautiful white crocheted blanket.  Willow was laying on a pillow.  She was dressed in a white gown with pink rosebuds  and was wearing a bonnet to match.  In her arms was the matching teddy bear. 


Inside the basket they had tucked her pink hat from the night before and a heart pillow.  She looked so peaceful.  We couldn’t hold her again because she was so fragile.  So the basket was placed on my lap.

It was hard to realize that we only had one more hour with her.  Steve looked on with tears falling from his eyes.  He would sit next to us and then come and stand beside us.  Apparently I told him several times that I was a mother now.  He tells me now that I looked so proud.  I know I was and still am.  I drank in every ounce of her, while trying not to fall asleep.  The medicine and the lack of sleep I had for the past 48 hours was working against me.  I knew that I would regret it if I did.  In between starring at her fingers and toes and her her sweet face, I would tell Steve how this decision was so right.   I told Willow how much I loved her and kissed her forehead.  Now looking back,  I wish I had taken more photos.  I didn’t even pull out my camera. 

74090017 ~ one of my favorite pictures ~

Karen the sweet nurse who dressed and took care of her the night before came in to tell me she had tried to get Willow’s feet prints on the ornament I had brought.  Unfortunately they wouldn’t turn out.  She asked if she could have her sister, an artist paint something on the ornament instead.  I was so touched and gave her our address.  I can’t wait to see it.  

Sue came to get Willow and asked us which items of Willow’s we wanted to keep .  We could keep it all or send it with her to the funeral home.  I told Sue that I wanted the pink hat, the teddy bear and  the heart pillow.  74090006

The rest could go with her.  I needed to know that she would be wrapped up and warm on her drive across town.  These are things no parents should have to decide.  We are so blessed to have had such compassionate nurses taking care of us. 

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